A deep yogi friend of mine recently decided to divorce her husband after years of affairs and betrayal. She had obliterated herself down the ahimsa path. Now I feel Kali in her, the suppressed rage of ages, percolate into action. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krisna (the god of love!!!) encourages Arjuna to do his duty on the battlefield, Arjuna wants peace, he doesn’t want to fight, Krishna encourages him to kill and do his duty.
And this is where I am. Is the idea of ahimsa sometimes a tool to further suppress our anger, guilt, shame and actually bring us further from ourselves and therefore from others?
My revered teachers often come back to the same premise again and again –
“trust and the universe will provide, give and the Mother, God will hold you and care for you. With the principles in place of the Yamas and Niyamas, we will be safe, well looked after and loved. Be like the water, flowing intrepidly into the One, past obstacles, easy and effortless. Surrender!”
“Suffering is an option, depending on how you see the situation.”
But modern therapy would argue that as yogis we have the tendency to suppress (some say sublimate) our anger. Sometimes it seems to me that ashrams are full of suppressed yogis running away from the pain of horrendous life experiences.
In my life, the guiding light has been the depth and breadth of love – generating the importance of transparency, trust, generosity (of information, learning, resources, my home and my love) and support to my students and my fellow yogis.
The first reaction is shock, the next of betrayal. And then comes the indomitable Kali (anger). Companion yoginis who hear of this injustice, say tap into the Fierce Feminine, to the Kali, to get your strength and power.
What gets us more indignant than injustice?
We want to hit back, get our revenge, lash out, hate and then we become lesser than we are, we become animals, running scared of the world, motivated by pain and by our own shadow.
In shutting down, we become less than who we are, we contract, rather than expand. This was always the main teaching of the Swamis I have been close to – make sure your heart is expanding with every action you take.
And then, sitting in the silence of the meditation, as always, the words come
“All manner of things will be well”
“Action in inaction, inaction in action.”
“be an instrument of peace”…
I have been lucky to have living teachers on the end of a ‘phone. I can consult with higher, enlightened souls who care and love the work I do in this present incarnation.
The response from them is always the same – “love, be calm, be kind, be strong, yield and realise we are all one.”
In the face of this light, I feel like the child having a tantrum in the corner under the loving and understanding eye of the Mother. “All will be well, dear, all will be well.” We need to trust in Karma, in integrity, in love and in the oneness.
We move, with guidance from “I” to “we”.